Tuesday, November 10, 2009

photoskool

joined this forum months ago but so scared to get involved coz the teachers there are so strict.. they'll shoot u direct punye if ur pictures are rubbish.. so i went to PK (photokaki) and got some advice and praises for my snapshots there, so i decided to go back to photoskool.. and i read the posts there and realized.. they're harsh for a reason, better get the low down on ur work and improve from there rather than get false praises right? so i've posted my first few pics and the results were ok, not good, but ok, but i know where to go from now.. thanks teachers at photoskool!!

Monday, November 9, 2009

what happened today

after weekends at the library and a whole week of swot vac at the library, i trampled through my MEQ's, feeling so insignificant to epul and adib... tak layak sungguh aku amek medic, let's see to what extent can i fool the system.. 4th year? 5th year? 2nd year?????

pegi library nak study after paper MEQ.... tertido kejap, habes stadi RA je... takpe mlm ni stadi lagi...

mase nak makan, kad rosak, takleh swipe, terpakse gune kad org len (tak suke berhutang *down* )

pastu gi bank nak tuka kad baru, die kate nnti die hntar dlm mail, tapi kad yg skrg ni leh gune lagi, pergi la nak cucuk duit memandangkan wallet dah lapar sangat2... *cucuk kad, tunggu duit keluar* "this card has expired" kad tak dikembalikan.. duit? haprak.... damn! cmne aku nak makan due tiga hari nih??? wtf....

bad day? dunno... I whine a lot... I know... I miss classes a lot.. what am i doing to myself? i dunno... dulu mase PMR and SPM senang je... stadi2, exam, A1... dah lame tak merasa dapat A... haish.. cmne la dak2 ni leh ingat smue bende nih? babi ar korang epul and adib, share2 ar neurons tu skit ngan aku!!!!!!! ahhahaahahaha! *down*

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Saiful Nang...

My idol... damn... dream job...

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

be creative?

ok ok, giler ah! due update in one night! bengong pe aku nih

tgh tensi studi la katakan yek...

tadi tgk2 gmbar2 member2 kat flickr... perghhh creative siot dierang neh... I can say that i know much of the technical stuff of photography.. tapi creativeness? haprak.. I'm one of the guys yg sgt minat, work hard on it, tapi get nowhere becoz of that lack of ummpphh and talent. and I'm not saying this to meraih simpati or anything, no. I know who I am. I wont be a world renowned photographer but what the heck? I LOVE taking photographs... so I'll keep taking photographs, even though their not that good.. it's not what people think of u, I'ts what u enjoy.. kan kan?

wah wah, lamenye tak menulis!

perghh, it's been quite a while since I've written anything in here, dah bersawang dah agaknye...

I'ts exam time and as expected, everyone's stopped their usual hoo haa and started studying like there's no tomorrow... normally I wait till the last two days before exams to study but this time i've been at the library since monday and this is the third day, quite impressed with myself! but I still dont think it's enuf.. really worried about the exams, I dont want to repeat a year, I want to stick to my plan.... study, get to fifth year without repeating, then pass the barrier exams, then kawin with my lovely booboo!!! pastu habeskan 6th year, and then we'll see if I carry on with my housemanship here or at malaysia.

honestly, I dont see a point of doing it here in aussie.. sure, the equipment and everything else is better here.. but I miss malaysia too much.. the people, the food... owh the heavenly food! to eat food without needing to check the ingredients, no more seafood sensation at subway, no more eating at hungry jacks with a heavy heart... and no more counting my money and rationing my money on food! balek mlysia boleh balun! lapar? kuih ade, roti krim 60 sen ade... haus? neslo ais! lapar/haus tgh2 malam? mamak berlambak! hahahah!

of course the pay's much better here, but i've had enough of the look... the look of racism that i get everytime... the drunk bastards that wonder around at night.. all the drinking... it's so frikkin wasteful.. kenape mau minum? u know it's bad for u!! haduih...

so tgk lah cmne.. hope it goes well.. pray for me yeah? taa!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

post seriuskah?

ok, sejak kebelakangan ni, aku asyek dok tulis pasal perpisahan je, so kite tolak ketepi kejap, kejap je yeh? ...

aku sbnrnye nak tulis pasal satu bende ni, bende ni pasal diri aku dan juge pasal orang len gak (mesti la ade kene mengena dgn aku, dah name blog aku kan??) ok, aku mengaku, aku ni seorang yg sgt pemalas, bak kate ibuku, cam lembu, sebat sekali, jalan selangkah, sebat lagi sekali, langkah la lagi sekali.. tapi cita-cita aku tinggi, melangit haaa... kekadang tu tak logik pon! tapi aku ni memang begitu, cita-cita tinggi, tapi usaha takde, boleh dikategorikan sebagai angan-angan je la haha!

aku kagum dengan orang yang bersemangat kental. contohnya, Adib and epul, rakan2 medikku.. kelas pukul lapan pagi tak ditinggalkan, pada waktu mereka menelaah, aku sedang berpoya-poya, takpon, sedang lena diulik mimpi. Apabali mereka dapat markah cemerlang, aku sedih, tapi salah siapa? bukan salah mereka, salah aku jugak, sape suruh malas? jadi aku pun bersemangatlah, semangat kental waja, pada waktu ini jikalau turun raksaksa otromen mau merampas buku teks medic dari genggamanku, akan ku juang hingga ke titisan terakhir.. tetapi, selalunya, smue ini hangat2 tahi ayam sahaja. dua-tiga hari kemudian, semuanya hilang. kenapa? aku tak nak jadi doktor yang bagus kah? aku taknak jadi doktor yang mampu menyelamatkan nyawa orang kah? aku mahu! SANGAT SANGAT MAHU!!!! untuk merasai kebahagiaan menolong orang, menyelamatkan orang, melihat kegembiraan orang apabila mereka sembuh... aku mahu semua itu, tapi usaha? entah ke mana.. kadangkala aku tak paham ape yang aku lakukan... apabila ada masa terluang, aku berjalan2 di rundle mall seorang, memerhati gelagat orang, aku menganalisa orang-orang yang terdapat di rundle mall, tetapi, aku gagal memerhati dan menganalisa diri sendiri..

Kalau malas belajar, mungkin ramai yang mempunyai masalah yang sama. tetapi aku ni pelik sikit. bukan setakat malas belajar, dalam hobby aku pon aku malas! ape nak jadi ni?? dahulu aku minat bermain gitar, bapak aku tak bagi, aku pon ikot la, kate bapak takkan tanak ikot kan? tapi lame2, bila aku sudah ke luar negara, bapak aku mengizinkan aku membeli gitar.. tetapi aku berlatih.. sekali due sahaja dalam sebulan. kadangkala aku pelik, bukankah aku sangat suka bermain gitar dahulu? aku teruja melihat mereka2 yang bermain dengan handal, contohnya, rakan sebiliku sendiri, din, gigih berlatih walaupon sudah handal yang melampau.. aku? ... aku hanya suka berangan...

ramai lagi nama-nama yang boleh ku sebutkan dalam post ini, smue rakan2ku mempunyai minat dan talent yang tersendiri, dan smuanya gigih dalam setiap bidang yang mereka handal. tetapi aku tetap average. peajaran aku average, kepandaianku average, karismaku average, perwatakanku average, badanku average, aku bermain gitar, rugby, dan mengambil gambar dengan kualiti average... aku percaya Allah mencipta setiap orang dengan kehebatan tersindiri, tetapi aku masih mencari, mungkin ini apa yang mereka katakan, 'mencari identiti'. atau mungkin aku handal dalam menjadi orang yan average dalam segalanya? mungkin juga.. secubit dari guni bidang segalanya. mungkin? mungkin.... :)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Tak sukenye...

Goodbye's are looming... getting closer... taknak! :( taknakkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! taknak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

i frikkin hate goodbyes.... :(